It’s been a really long while since I’ve whipped out any Google-age on this here blog, which is actually pretty sad. I used to have a ball picking my statistics to pieces and having a laugh at what search terms brought people here, but lately I’ve lost interest.

Perhaps one day it will come back… when I find a stats program that isn’t useless.

*bangs head on laptop screen*

I had a relaxed morning and managed to check a lot of things off my to-do list. First thing was to sleep in and get rid of the nasty headache that had pestered me all day long on our outing yesterday. Thankfully by this morning it had disappeared; only to be replaced with an aching back: Oh body, why doth you hate me so-eth?

The man of the house headed off to church, leaving me to my own devices. I managed to squeeze in a workout, talk to Kirby for a while, clean the bathroom, tidy the bedroom, finish the dishes, and do a couple of loads of laundry. Now? I get to sit in my pink fluffy dressing gown and relax, which makes for a totally perfect Sunday.

Why do weekends go by so quickly? Are you up to anything exciting for yours?

Another week, another batch of searches that have steered people towards my humble blog. Settle in for some of this week’s somewhat strange phrases, captioned for your enjoyment!

Alyndabear + Salt-n-Pepa
Well, I’m Alyndabear. Salt n Pepa were a band from the 90’s. Add them together, and you get one rockin’ dance party.

Squished Boobs/Hot Skirts/Hot Arse
I grouped all of these together, because I was getting a rather familiar vibe coming from them.. none of which have anything to do with me. Except the squished boobs part, because I get those everytime I squeeze into my Threadless tees.

Pole Dancer Heels
I’m sure these go hand in hand with all of the above search terms.

Spanking Equipment
Uh-oh, I’m being bitten on the hot? arse with this one. In last week’s Google-age, I bravely stated that if I kept getting searched about this, I would research it to find out more. I’m not one to break an oath, so here goes; you could use a monkey.

Evil Woman
I hope they’re not referring to me? Am not evil! Just strange!

Christmas Boots
I’m putting these boots on my wishlist for Santa this year.

Dag Jase
I think my Jase is definitely a dag, and a loveable one at that. Don’t know what a dag is? Enlighten yourself!

Pillow Donut
The perfect pillow on which to rest your tush should you have haemorrhoids.

What Ages Can Use ProActive
What am I, a ProActive spokesperson? I think I should be requesting some sort of compensation for all of these questions …

Mosquito Lamp Australia
I may not like bugs, but I also don’t particularly like the zapping noises that bugs make when they’re electrocuted on a mozzie lamp. Blech.

How to get rid of Bogong Moths
Perhaps make use of the mosquito lamp mentioned above?

Blog Action Day
For my two cents on environmental issues, you can click here to read.

Panadol Slogan
Check out the Sunday Google-age archives for Panadol’s new slogan..

Contiki Sex
No sex stories for you this week, but good news: Kirby is coming along on the Great American Tour of ‘08 as well! Whee!

CAMEL TOE IN THE GYM
Apparently this is so disturbing, that it required capital letters. FUGLY!

Funniest Advertisements
I couldn’t find the one I was looking for, but this Herbal Essences commercial is definitely giggle-worthy.

Australian, slang, pah!
Hmm. Confusing. Sounds like they want to know what “pah” means, and they think it’s Australian slang? Pah! I do not know!

Who left Australian Idol monday 15th Oct
That would be Ben. (If only it could’ve been Matt ..)

You’re Catty
And you smell.

I Cheated Myself
That can’t be good. What did you cheat yourself from?

Chook Fuckers
I have absolutely no comment on this one. I call people chooks, I sometimes indulge in a swear word or two, but I’ve never joined the two together like that.

Long with a fridge cool hair cuts/ styles
I have long hair with a fringe. And I’m totally cool. Edit: Mum just pointed out that it says FRIDGE and not fringe, which I didn’t spot at all. I don’t quite know what fridge reference to put in here though, any ideas?

Girly Puppy Names
I have two boy names picked out for my future puppies (I am such a dork) but haven’t a clue when it comes to girly names.

Pink Mashed Potatoes
Bugger using food colouring to dye your children’s mashed potatoes. I’ve got a better idea! Simply open a shaken up bottle of creaming soda while sitting at the dinner table, and point it in the direction of your mother & her mashed potatoes.

Shoes is the first thing they notice
It’s definitely one of the first things I notice, that’s for sure.

Secrets
My baby’s got a secret..

Report Idiot Drivers
I’d love to report the ones I see. They should not be allowed on the roads.

Are you smarter than a 5th grader?
I’d like to think so. But not at long division. Never did quite get that concept. (And yes, I’m a teacher! Go figure.)

Guys with Dimples
I adore dimples. Dimples are lovely. I wish I had dimples. I always remember reading about Jessica & Elizabeth Wakefield’s matching dimples in the SVH series.They weren’t only a size 6, but had dimples too? Bitches.

I hate hairdressers
Did they mutilate your hair, too? Perhaps we should form a support group.

The Classroom
It’s my current place of work. Except for tomorrow, where we’re going into Sydney for a transport excursion. I hope it isn’t 35o again.

Fickle as a …
I say cucumber. What do you say?

You Know You Watch Too Much TV When …
You spend as much time worrying about which boxsets to pack for England, as you do regarding your clothing. Yipes.

That’s it from me for this week. How did your stats look this week?

Some people like routines. Some people like change. Me? I’m a little bit of both, though I’m quite happy to admit that change freaks me out. But I have always been, and most likely will always be, a fan of sticking to a routine. Now that I’ve finally got my stats under control, I’m hoping the Sunday Google-age will return to it’s usual scheduled programming.

(If you are itching for more Sunday Google-age, click here to read back through the archives.)

Alyndabear
Alright, I’m putting on my cranky teacher face now; which one of you hasn’t added me to your links and/or feed reader, and still comes looking for my blog through a search engine?

Wearing Mary Janes
Usually when you wear Mary Janes, you just slide your foot into the shoe and do up the ankle strap. Fairly simple. I suppose if you were feeling creative, you could toss them over your shoulder or wear them on your head, but really, I’d stick to your feet if I were you.

Gloria Estefan
Turn the beat around … love to hear percussion! [launches into a Dean Geyer backflip.]

No Makeup Pretty
Thank goodness for that, since the most makeup I own is a tube of tinted moisuriser (in skin tone “ghostly white pallor”, or something along those lines), brown mascara and a bunch of lipgloss.

Pretty Hair
You think my hair is pretty too? Aw, you’re too kind, thanks!

Ugly Hair
… Or perhaps not? Excuse me, while I go cry myself to sleep. [On my huge pillow.]

Blog Dentist Drilled Fillings
Last year I blogged all about my first visit to the dentist in ages, in three parts: One, Two & Three. I ended the series saying that I would be happy to go back to that dentist the following year, or when the need arises. Yeah, er, no. When I started having phantom tooth pains a couple of weeks ago, I decided I didn’t want to go back to that practice. I’m following the recommendations of a friend, and am booked in for a visit next week. Cross your fingers for me!

Panadol Slogan 2007
Ooh, let’s see what I can come up with for this one … although it won’t be a super catchy jingle because let’s face it, nothing rhymes well with Panadol. You saw it here first, folks.

Use it when you’re sick and use it when you’re ill,
Panadol is the pain killing pill.
You can store it on your sink or on your window sill,
But don’t use it while operating a working windmill.

Cute Kiwis
The New Zealand Kiwi’s really are cute, even if they are secretly all robots. You decide.

Stomping Stanley
I do enjoy a good stomp every once and a while, it’s good for venting frustration. But I’ve never been called a Stomping Stanley before … but there’s a first time for everything!

Thong Scandal
I’m curious, what sorts of scandals do thongs get into? I suppose having a smelly thong could be considered scandalous, whether referring to the shoe or the underwear.

Short Skirts
Short skirts are skirts that are short. Quite a clever creation, wouldn’t you agree?

Christmas Beetles What They Don’t Like
I’m not sure what they don’t like, but I can tell you what they do like: they like dive bombing innocent swimmers at night and causing them to be paranoid in the future.

Thunder Thighs
Alright, I’ll admit it, I didn’t exercise at all this weekend. I haven’t since Friday. But that’s no reason to start calling me names, alright? I’ll be back on the bandwagon on Monday.

Straddling
Is quite a naughty sounding word when it’s sitting there all by itself like that, isn’t it?

Brandon Boyd Pirate Hat
In last week’s Google-age, I complained about not being able to find a photograph of Incubus frontman Brandon Boyd, where he is donning a pirate hat and not much else. The gods were smiling today on me today though; I found it! Behold, a rather sassy pirate .. phwoar.

Brandon Boyd Shirtless & Brandon Boyd Topless
Uh-huh. I get what you’re looking for. You guys just can’t get enough, can you?

Strangle
Hey now, let’s not resort to strangling. Why don’t you try stomping instead?

How to Get Rid of Bogong Moths in Clothes
Shake your clothes (while outside, unless you are someone who enjoys having moths of doom take up residence in your curtains) like a polaroid picture, with your arms as far outstretched from your body as they go. Think Inspector Gadget arms, people. And should any moths dart out from the clothes and try to attack; Shriek like a girl, throw the clothes across the lawn and run inside while flailing your arms. That’ll do it.

Arse
Short and to the point. Am referring to the search term of course, not my arse.

Self Spanking & Spanking Equipment
If I keep getting these searches, I think I’ll need to start researching the topic for future reference, because I’ve officially got nothing to offer on this one. Help?

Photo of Ricki Lake’s Legs
I bet when they followed this search link, all they ended up with were pictures of Ricky the rabbit. Poor things, I don’t quite think that was what they were looking for.

Red Eyed Rabbit
Aside from their eyes being a wee bit creepy at first, you don’t notice it after a while. Really.

Rabbit Genitalia
Am sorry, but since last week’s request for help regarding bunny genitals, I am still completely clueless on how to tell the two apart. Tricky wee things, they are.

Camel Penis
All this talk about nether regions reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from Grey’s Anatomy.

Izzie: You’re my penis fish.
George: You don’t even have a penis, why am I the fish?

Contiki Grand Southern Review
Look, I really do have to go on the tour first before I can give you a decent review. You should probably bookmark this page and come back in about a year or so.

How to Treat Contiki Cough
I didn’t even know this condition existed until I came back from Europe, when I realised that I’d had the dreaded thing. (I remember snuffling my way through Monaco, coughing my lungs up in Lyon & buying nasal spray in Rome. Good times!) But really, what can you do about being couped up in a tour bus breathing in other people’s germs? All part of the experience.

Going on Contiki Sex & Sex on Contiki
How I ended up being the expert on sex on Contiki tours is beyond me. From the reviews I’ve been reading lately, there seem to be more girls and less guys on tours, I wonder what impact that has on the sex that happens. Wouldn’t this be an interesting thesis topic?

Sweaty Girls at the Gym
Looks like I’ve been sprung: I sweat like crazy when I work out. It isn’t pretty. And anyone who doesn’t sweat at the gym is automatically on my hate-list. Haaaaate.

Brushing Teeth at 6:00am and at 10pm
Well done, I’m sure your dentist loves you. I’m usually snoring at both of those times, though.

John Mayer is Sexy
Word.

Acrostic Poem for Keira
Aha, another opportunity for me to get my creative juices flowing.

Keira, this poem was written from me to you.
Even though I don’t know who you are.
I like your name though. It’s pretty.
Really hope you like my poem.
Although I apparently suck at writing acrostic poetry.

Badgergirl
Ah, you’ve come across my term of endearment for a fabulous blogger: Velocibadgergirl.

Tacky Wedding Outfit
Oh, let’s see what good ol’ Google can find for us. You want tacky? I can get you tacky! How about this revealing little number, I wonder if she has a smelly thong? Or perhaps this sassy bridal ensemble is more to your taste? And nothing screams tacky like Hello Kitty.

Blotchy Skin & Broken Out Skin Age 33
Considering my face resembles a piece of sandpaper with paint splodges on it at the moment, my hearty recommendation is to keep googling until you find someone who knows what they are talking about. And then come back and give me all the answers.

Can I use Proactive and Different Cream?
Well sure you can, if you enjoy having your face burned into a crisp. (Despite what Jessica Simpson said, ProActiv wasn’t good for my skin at all. It burned. BURNED!)

Picture of a Sneeze & Bless You
Even more disturbing than someone searching for a picture of a sneeze, is the fact that I just googled it myself … and found an image. Completely gross. You can see it here, if you’re so inclined. Ah well, at least they used their manners appropriately.

Distract
This person got distracted before they could finish typing what they were searching for, ha.

Ladies & Gentlemen, after a rather long hiatus, I’m proud to have finally gotten around to gathering some Sunday Google-age for you! (And I know, I know, it’s Monday. But surely it’s still Sunday in some part of the world, no?)

Feel free to cheer. Just let it all out. Go on. You know you want to.

What is Google-age?
I suppose I had better explain myself before I begin, lest new readers think I’m insane. Well, this is Google-age. You’re reading it, pal! Since my visitors usually end up here through searches, Google-age is a fun little wordplay that I do every so often. It rolls off the tongue well, what can I say?

Sweet Lovely Words for Birthday
Oh, Oh! I know this one! How about.. happy birthday? Or you could spice it up a bit, and turn it into a happy birthday lovely! Very sweet.

Brandon Boyd Touching
Wouldn’t you want to touch him too, seeing this photo? (I was looking for the sassy picture of dear Brandon wearing a pirate hat and not much else, but sadly couldn’t find it. What is this world coming to?)

School Assembly Items
Sadly I’m not much help with this one, because I can’t even figure out what to do with my kidlets for their end of year performance. It doesn’t help when you have a class of 16, and most of them won’t even turn up on the night .. gah. How about we just do the Macarena?

I’m a Noun Tshirt
I love this shirt. Although it caused much confusion in my household.

Loch Ness Tshirt
I love this shirt too. Has a cute squid thing. Threadless is awesome.

Awesome Scrabble Shirt
I also love (and own) this shirt. I’m a wee bit addicted to slogan tees.

One Size Shirts
I have a thing with one size fits all … because that usually guarantees that it won’t fit me. Or it fits, but leaves you with icky back fat. Or gut fat. Or squished boobs. And squished boobs are good for no-one involved.

Colorblind Shirt Humor
Wouldn’t you know it? I have just the shirt for you. Woo!

Alynda
That’s my name, don’t wear it out. If you say it three times while looking in a mirror, absolutely nothing will happen to you. Go on, give it a try.

Foot Lick
I suppose when you have an entire month dedicated to your shoes, you’re bound to get some crazies who want to lick your feet, right?

Feet Women
Yes, most women have feet. Be a little hard to walk without them.

Office Feet
Am guessing office feet are the same as, er, non-office feet, just with prettier and more fancy shoes?

Sucking the Teachers Toes
I don’t have office feet. I have classroom feet. And I have to admit that all this talk of feet is starting to gross me out.

Smelly Thong
I’m putting this in with the feet searches, because for the last time, thongs are footwear! Not undies that disappear up your butt! Although when you think about it, either of them being smelly is sort of disgusting.

Contemplate the Consequences of my Actions
Very deep thinking there. I should do that more often; I could start with contemplating the consequences that polishing off a block of lemon cheesecake chocolate will have on my stomach.

If I was Tempted I Would Run
Yes, yes, I should’ve run away from the chocolate. I know. I know.

Reshape Lose Bum Gain Boobs
Wouldn’t this be grand? We’d all look like Barbies. I’d like to reshape too, but mine would be something like Lose Gut, Gain Muscles. I’m quite happy with my boobs just the way they are.

I Fantasize Snuggling with a Girl
That’s a very sweet fantasy, if you ask me. Some people prefer fantasizing about slightly dirtier things, though …

Self-spanking Equipment
… Like self-spanking equipment! [wolf whistles] Naughty!

Blog Review
I had my blog reviewed a few months ago with not so wonderful results. In fact, it blew me away to read what she thought of me & my writing. Not so positive. Am still slightly scarred, actually. Rather depressing. Blargh.

Cut My Hair Short
I have issues with hair dressers, especially after the haircut of death. I didn’t want my hair cut short, but that’s what I got.

Mandy Moore’s Hairstyles
She looks pretty hot with short hair though, even if it does look like she is sort of straddling a pole in the last picture.

Point the Finger
Speaking of fingers, someone needs to point theirs in the general direction of my treadmill downstairs, as that’s where I should be right now instead of sitting on my arse writing this blog post. I am interested in who they’re pointing their finger at though …

Idiots Merging Lanes
If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s drivers who shouldn’t be out on the road. And sadly, merging lanes usually bring out the morons in packs. Put your indicator on early, stop edging in so close to my damn car and please, please just give me a thankyou wave. How hard is it to wave?

So Sexy
Now that’s the kind of compliment a girl wants in the morning, thanks!

Pants Down
Perhaps you ought to invest in a nice, sturdy belt?

Red Padlock dvd Case
Oh no! The dreaded magnetically locked case! If you’ve got a red padlock showing on your dvd, it means the store hasn’t de-magnetified (ha) it, and it won’t open. You have two options here; take it back and have them open it for you, or get a kitchen knife and hack at the case until it opens. (It works, but it left my Gilmore Girls Season 3 set looking a little mangled.)

Bermuda Triangle History
Hmm, let’s see. Big chunk of ocean, mysterious disappearances, spooky spooky. You can read about it here. Also a ride at Sea World.

Skirt Hike Moan Classroom
I may wear skirts from time to time, but I definitely don’t hike in my classroom. And I can assure you that the only moaning comes from the kidlets when I make them write. And write. And write some more.

Met Lifehouse
Geez, way to rub it in. I’d settle to even get to see the band live, and you’re meeting them? Bah humbug, you are mean.

Contiki Grand Southern
Squeeeeee, I’m so glad you brought this up. I don’t think anyone realises just how freaking excited I am about getting to do my great American tour of ‘08. I’m excited! Super excited! Want to go now! NOW.

Contiki Cheating
Oh, I can assure you there will be no cheating on Contiki. Well, no doubt there will be some flings (there always are..) but I will not be involved. The only flings I will be having will be with my stalkerees.

Exotic Wedding Cakes
I don’t know about exotic wedding cakes, but how about …

Doughnut Wedding Cakes
… A doughnut wedding cake! Very sweet, and only slightly creepy.

Ding Dong Dang
It’s a karaoke bar! I’ve taken pictures of it, but never been game enough to go there. My singing doesn’t go further than my living room, or my car.

Pale Skin
My skin is not just pale, it’s reflective. Whiter than a ghost.

Rabbit Dude
Instead of calling myself the Rabbit Whisperer, I think I’ll stick with the Rabbit Dude. Let’s see if this Rabbit Dude can answer the onslought of bunny questions that have been piling up over this past week.

Crazy Rabbit
Ricky would have to be the most crazed bunny I’ve had out of all my girls. Ever since he was a baby, he would nip you to get attention … have you noticed I still call him a boy? I can’t get into the habit of him being a her. Gah.

Cuddly Rabbit
I miss Bella and Lucy, my two cuddly rabbits. I hope they’re snuggling together in bunny heaven right now.

Rabbit has Broken her Leg
Oh no! Poor wee thing, I do hope she’s feeling okay.

My Rabbits Jaw Looks Swollen
Yikes - take it to the vet now. It could be a tooth abscess, or some sort of infection. Neither are very good, and it’s better safe than sorry.

Panadeine for Rabbits
Er, I wouldn’t be giving your rabbit panadeine. In fact, I wouldn’t be giving your rabbit anything to do with medicine without seeing a vet first.

Female Rabbit Genitalia
Ha! You’re asking the person who thought Ricky was a boy for months and was ready to have his bunny balls chopped off, only to discover that he was a girl the whole time anyway. And who still calls him a boy. Yeah. Apparently I’m not good at figuring out the sex of rabbits.

Cheap Skin Regime
Perhaps I should be asking you for your thoughts on a cheap skin regime. In fact, I did ask the masses for help just a few days ago. My current one involves soap and water. And judging by the fact that I’m still sort of dry and bumpy, I still need to find some sort of regime for my face. Good luck.

How Blotches Look Like
The grammar of that sentence makes my brain hurt, but luckily it’s still the school holidays so I can just pretend it makes sense. Blotches look like, er, blotches. Big red splodges of colour, possibly dry, probably gross looking. They can be on your face. Or if you’re a novice (finger) painter like I am, you could make a blotch on paper with any colour paint. Paint blotches are fun.

Numb Cheek
Uh oh. If your cheeks are numb, it could be the dreaded …

Slap Cheek Syndrome
… Slap Cheek disease! Yargh! Also not-so-fondly known as parvovirus. Yes, that pet disease. No, you’re not contagious to animals. But the novelty of telling people you’ve had parvo? Priceless.

Is it important for guys to have nice shoes?
Possibly the most important question of the day, and the answer? A strong, resounding YES. Had Jason been wearing icky shoes, I don’t know what I would have done. You can read all about the importance of shoes here.

It’s back! Did you miss it? Sure, it’s only been a few weeks but still. You missed it.

Hallmark Cards
Are overpriced and overrated. Who pays $8 for a card that you can make at home for practically nothing? I’m a big fan of homemade cards, think they’re more personal. And I am also cheap. Not the point.

Spotty Arms
Yes, I do still have spotty arms. No, I have not yet found the miracle cure. Alas.

Synonym for Shitload
Er. Are you looking for a child friendly synonym? How about just calling it a whole lot of something. Or a rather large amount of something. Or, if you like your slang and your swear words, you could go with the old favourite of a ‘fuckload’. I know. Sounds completely disgusting on it’s own, but put it in a sentence - ‘I have a shitload of schoolwork to do’ OR ‘Yep, I’d buy that pretty jacket, except it costs a fuckload of money’. Ahem. You see?

I’m addicted to sherbies
OMG. How much do I love Sherbies? I think I’ve probably lost half of my readers by now, so let me just clarify - Sherbies are an Australian chewy lolly/candy that are orange flavoured and have fizzy sherbert in the middle. They’re bad for you, full of sugar but very, very yummy. I ate practically four jumbo bags of them whilst recovering from my laser eye surgery. Mmm. Sherbies. (I love ‘Milko’ lollies too.)

Invitation letter for mum and dad visa uk
Well, I don’t know about the Visa part of this search, because I haven’t yet filled mine out, BUT I do know that after I move to the UK? I’ll be sending my mum and dad an invitation letter to come and visit me there. Can you guys convince them that flying to London to see their only daughter while she is away from home FOR TWO YEARS might be a nice thing to do? And that there are nifty things to see and do nearby? (If I were moving somewhere on Route 66, they’d be there in a jiffy.)

Great comeback lines
Oh, here’s one - ‘HE: Can I have your name? SHE: Why, don’t you already have one?’

I am happy oh so happy
It should be illegal to be so happy before 9am on a Sunday morning. Bah humbug.

Poetry in voices line - with sticky fingers in humbug bed
Call me crazy, but didn’t I just type the word ‘humbug’? I think I must have been automatically reading ahead and stole the word.. from myself! I am clever. But, not clever enough to help you with the poetry request. I stink at poetry. Except for acrostics. I can write a mean acrostic poem.

I want my own baby stepmother
What the hell is a baby stepmother? Like, you want your stepmother to be the mother of your kid? Or you want a stepmother who is literally a baby? You’re strange.

Chemicals are restless
Part of the song Flawed Design by Stabilo - ‘The chemicals are restless in my head.’ I actually love that line.

Crimpy Hairstyles
Want to see one? Okay! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Wine Tasting Blogs
I only drink wine on special occasions. Or nights out. Or nights in. And my wine taste are quite cheap - bring me a bottle of $6 riesling and I’ll be your best friend. (And probably fall down in your driveway.)

Is not exaggered
I was all ready to start picking this search question apart because exaggered? (Hello, spell-check?) Until I followed the search myself. And realised that in one of my oh-so-deep attempts (Hello, sarcasm!) at writing a short story, I actually was the one who made that typo. Follow this link, read the short story and see if you can spot it. Bonus points if you don’t cringe all the way through.

Tully is a stupid book
I don’t think so. I think it’s quite a good book. A very good book actually.

Teacher mentor didn’t do his job
Let’s have him killed!

Pictures of an irritated baby flicking someone off
I live to serve. Here’s one. Here’s another. And here’s another irritated child.

Is a 10 year old capable of putting in contact lenses?
Can 10 year olds even wear contacts? I got mine when I was in high school, and putting them in didn’t bother me. But 10? That’s Year 4. Nah. I wouldn’t be giving my kid contact lenses at that age. I’d keep them wearing glasses until they absolutely couldn’t stand it any longer, because as fabulous as contacts are? They do give you lots of sty’s. And are expensive, and fussy and need to be looked after.

All out of garbage bags
Bummer. Now how will you make spiffy costumes for your kid’s dance?

Dance bitch
Alright! [Does the Macarena.]

From one side of my head to the other migraine
Poor you. Perhaps you should go to the doctors. Who will no doubt prescribe you PANADOL and tell you you’ll be fine. But you won’t. You’ll still be sick. And if you happen to go back again, they’ll give you the same instructions. And you’ll still be sick. (Not that this has happened to me personally, or anything. Oh no.)

Love songs about wanting someone else
How about that Lips of an Angel song by Hinder? I feel like punching the lead singer and his husky voice out every time I hear it. What a prick! ‘Sometimes I wish she was you.’ Well, Mr Voice, I bet sometimes she wishes that you’d stop waving your weeny arms around in the air in your stupid filmclips too, so THERE.

Commercials all about me
Off the top of my head, I can’t think of any commercials made for me. I can tell you a whole list though, that make me cry. Let me know if you want that.

Subconjunctival hemmorage
Basically, it’s a fancy-schmancy term for a burst blood vessel. Which is another fancy-schmancy term for an EVIL BIG RED UGLY PATCH IN YOUR EYEBALL THAT LOOKS DISGUSTING AND WILL ONLY GO AWAY BY ITSELF AND YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. That pretty much sums it up.

Eh Eh bunky lyrics
‘Louise, Louise, Don’t give me none of that bunky bunky’. Surely bunky bunky can only mean one thing, no? Maybe? Sort of? Or perhaps I have a dirty mind.

Lovely words for …
For what? Lady bloggers? Squirrels? Bunky Bunky? ALYNDABEAR? I must know!

Clothes worn in movie Love Actually
Not sure, but I’d like them all. They all look so funky and fashionable in their English coats. I want an English coat. I’m going to need an English coat. I didn’t particularly like anything that Keira Knightley wore in that movie. I preferred ‘Natalie’. She always looked so gorgeous. Hey! Mum just reminded me of that movie last night - I’ll be at London Heathrow airport the day after Christmas! With all the hugs and stuff! And the Beach Boys song serenading everyone through loudspeakers! Am so excited! (What? Are you telling me that doesn’t happen? Phooey.)

I want birthday cards
I recieved a whopping thee cards this year. Are you jealous?

Bruise underneath lower lip after eating corn on the cob
There’s no easy way to say this: your corn cob is trying to kill you! Run for cover!

Who sings boom boom boom i want you in my room?
That would be the Vengaboys. (I absolutely do not have this song on my Ipod.)

Smelly thong
Okay, that’s just gross. I don’t want to know about your and your smelly thongs, no matter which kind you’re talking about - shoes or knickers. Yuck.

Cankles
Hopefully my exercise (Exercise? That sounds familiar, but I just can’t place it..) will permanently remove my cankles once and for all.

Squished boobs
This is what happens when I wear my Threadless shirts. They’re great tees, though not particularly flattering to those of us with a little cleavage.

Pictures of the flying purple people eater
The FPPE is a bit like the Loch Ness Monster. We can only speculate. Eyewitnesses report that he looks a little like this. We may never know for sure.

Contiki tour grand southern reviews
Talk to me this time next year, and I’ll give you my very own review.

Special words for a friends birthday
How about the good old fashioned ‘Here’s a blank cheque, pick out whatever you like, it’s on me.’ Or, you could just say ‘Happy Birthday friend.’ That could work.

Horror contiki experience Europe
I want to know all about your horror experience. I had an amazing time on mine. Oh wait, does that sound like I’m rubbing it in? I really don’t mean to. It was just so excellent, the people were great, we saw so much . . . am I doing it again?

Chevy chase european vacation
Ha! I adore this movie. ‘Look kids! Big Ben! Parliament!’ I realise you’ll have absolutely no idea what I’m on about unless you’ve actually seen the movie but come on. Who hasn’t seen the Vacation movies? They’re classic!

Parraeels
I’ve never actually typed it as one word before, but woo! Parra Eels! They’ve now replaced Penrith as my #1 Rugby League team, because Penrith? The boys have let me down. Plus, I haven’t seen hunky Luke Rooney in forever, which is quite disappointing.

Fringe bangs around face picture
I’m much too scared to visit a hairdresser again anytime soon, let alone get bangs. But oh how I wish I could have nice, side-swept bangs. It’s a shame my strange hair and cowlicks make it impossible to have that.

Koala biting in groin
That’s got to be painful. I’d love to know what you have to do to piss off a koala. Steal their eucalyptus leaves? Poke them in the belly? Yowch.

Married by 26
That was “The Plan”. Who knows if that’ll happen? My bets are currently off.

It’s that time of the week again - Sunday, bloody Sunday. Back to work tomorrow.

(I feel I must say this; when it comes to stats, I’ve been spoiled using Typepad’s stats option. It’s much easier to use, and I never had to touch Stat Counter then.)

We’ll keep it short and sweet this week, since I’ve had a lot of ‘double’ searches.

Cartoon girl
Maybe this is my superhero name. Do you think I’ll get to wear a cape and choose a superpower? Maybe drawing cartoons IS my superpower. That’s kind of strange, I can’t draw more than stick figures.

The crook of my arm
Er, I don’t have much to say with this one. I wonder what they were searching for. Pain in the crook of their arm? Holding something in the crook of their arm? Drawing on the crook of their arm? Am not much help without details, folks.

Being married
Apparently you’ve been cruelly directed to the wrong blog, because I? Am not much help in this department at all. [Except for my faithful watching of the Bridezillas show, that is.] Why don’t you ask these already hitched bloggers instead?

New Ricki Lake leg pictures
Ricki Lake has new legs? What was wrong with her old legs? And no, no photos here.

What’s a noun?
A noun is a naming word, people. A naming word. My second graders know this.

I hate my fringe I want it to grow
I hear you, though not with a fringe. I hate my entire HAIR and want it to grow. I know I go on and on about the haircut of death from last December - but that was seven months ago. And the hair? Is still slaughtered. It’s not growing! She must have used scissors of death, too. Maybe we should both invest in some pretty hats.

When i get older i began to love you
[sniff] I love you too! Even though I don’t know who you are, and you don’t use capital letters properly which annoys me. A lot. Just so you know.

On Reminiscing
We’ll go dancing in the dark
Walking through the park and reminiscing…
Nothing like a little Barry Manilow to take the edge off, eh?

Take the tie off
Ooh. But you can leave your hat on. [Does the Full Monty dance.]

Pictures of my hurting feet
How can you tell from a picture that your feet are sore? Strange. I’ve had a few emails in the last couple of weeks complimenting me on last December’s shoe pictures, though. It’s all very flattering, actually. [Except the toe sucking parts.]

Refund handbag fell apart
I’d be taking it back for yet another refund, if I were you.

What is a dag?
I’ve mentioned this before - this is a dag. And I am proudly one. Are you?

Cattiness in the workplace
Nothing worse than catty workplaces. Put those claws away & start feeling the love.

Donut wedding cake
If you’re asking for my personal opinion, I think this is tacky. I mean, look at this!

Lazy thinker or plain stupid
If you’re talking about me, I’ll go with stupid. Actually, I might be both. [Am talented.]

Blah Blah Happy Birthday
I give you all permission to say this to me in two weeks time. Blah Blah birthday.

Teacher Apologising and Complaining
I doubt that only teachers apologise and complain. But still, guilty as charged.

Scrabble t-shirt stupid
Hey! I happen to own that scrabble shirt you’re talking about. Not stupid!

Does any hypochondriacs out there have a constant sore throat?
The grammar queen in me just fainted dramatically on the floor after reading that. Do. DO. For the love of all things English, DOOOOOO. And I’m sure they do. Amongst other exotic  illnesses and diseases too, of course.

Sunday Google-age is back with a vengeance today, since I was reminded to do it with a gentle nudge. You’ll have to bear with me this week; moving around means my stats have disappeared into nothingness. Yipes! Will need to figure out where I can see my site hits from now on. Oh wait, am clever, found it! Hello Stat Counter.

Alyndabear
That’s me! Hi! How are ya?
Would you like a cookie?
Or how about a round of SingStar?

Non Generic Wedding Songs
Can I just ask what is so wrong with generic wedding songs? Everyone needs a little “From This Moment On” or “Love is in the Air” at their wedding, right? I love the oldies, but my er, musical taste probably isn’t a good judge. And why the hell are you asking ME for wedding advice anyway? Do you see any bling in this general direction? Do you? DO YOU?

Making Babies
I’m no expert on this subject, but apparently there are birds and bees involved.

I Seem to Need to Pee all the time
Um, maybe you should research the above topic. I’m just saying . . . OR you could just have a weak bladder. Can I suggest adult nappies*? [* aka diapers.]

Soundtrack to my Life
This is mine, right here. I should do another one of those one of these days.

He’s probably slow dancing with a bleached blonde
He is? That man-whore! We should organise to have him killed.

Wearing sexy stockings and contact lenses
Phwoar, you sexy thang. My advice would be to put in your contacts BEFORE trying to wiggle into the sexy stockings. Could be dangerous, otherwise. Your stockings might end up on your head!

Funny student report comments
Ahem, having just finished writing report comments for my kidlets, I don’t want to talk about them anymore. Not once. Am on strike!

Musicology
Other than being a not-so-wonderful song by Prince, oh sorry, funky scribbly symbol guy, I think it’s a pretty spiffy word. Don’t you?

Poems about fussy eaters
Oh, Oh! I’ll write one for you. Here we go:

There once was a girl with a blog,
Who looked nothing at all like a frog,
She hates foods with seeds,
And she doesn’t like peas,
Her butt needs to go for a jog.

Can kids swim in their underwear?
Well, sure they can. Just make sure they don’t leave their knickers behind in the change rooms. They breed in there.

Unsaid, what’s it mean?
It means that it’s not being said? Um, it’s secret? Oh, and it’s a song by The Fray.

Peeling potatoes makes me sneeze.
Really? Potatoes? Ha! That’s funny . . . I mean, you poor thing. Perhaps you’re allergic, and should buy some of that potato whip stuff. It’s good wrapped in devon, yum. (Does admitting that make me a complete bogan?)

Jason Behr’s penis.
And what exactly were you expecting to find? This blog is G-Rated, freaks.

Sarah McLachlan topless
Again with the pervert-factor. I assure you, I have no titty pictures of Ms McLachlan on this here blog. I dare you to find some.

Don’t think I can bungy jump
That’s what I said, just before flinging myself off a bridge with my ankles tied together. And I’d do it again, too!

Contiki Sex Parties
Apparently people think I’m having more fun on Contiki than I remember having . . . in the bedroom, that is. Please, I was WAY too busy jumping off things to engage in such events. Although I did hear a rumour about a hot tub on the first night of our NZ tour.

Contiki sex pictures
Ahem. What happens on Contiki stays with Contiki. [Does that sound secretive enough? Like I know what I'm on about, bah!]

Gothic People - I’m feeling lucky
Good for you! Bad for the gothic people; way to stereotype, by the way.

Don’t feel chipper
Neither do I. But I like the word chipper. It’s nifty. Chipper, chipper, chipper.

In the middle of the night
. . . I go walking in my sleeeeeeep. Quick, distract me before I start serenading you with Billy Joel lyrics. Let me tell you a story instead - the other night, I watched a couple of episodes of the X-Files just before bed [stupid move, Alynda you wuss] and after they finished, I flicked off the television and went to sleep. I woke up half an hour later, and my TV had turned itself back on! Being a big fraidy-cat, I lay huddled up in the blankets and didn’t move in case the monsters got me, when the television turned itself OFF again. I swear, just like that. Flick! Off it went. I may or may not have stayed awake all night with the light on.

All I think about is tomorrow
Ew, why would you want to do that? Tomorrow is MONDAY. An evil, evil day of the week, if you ask me.

Filthy gorgeous
A mighty fine song to dance around your bedroom too, while wearing high shoes and feather boas. Not that I’ve done that, or anything.

Let’s call her Heidi!
No! Let’s call HER Heidi!

Amusing comments from dentists
I don’t know if dentists can say anything that is amusing, especially if you are sitting in their chair at the time. Bloody horrible.

Sporting equipent spelt with e
I don’t even want to talk about your grammar. Where is the ‘m’?

There’s really no way to reach me
. . . ‘Cos I’m already gonnnnnnnnnnnne. Didn’t stop me quick enough this time, did you? This is ‘Vienna’, also by The Fray. I like your taste.

Horrible feeling when I move my hands.
I hear you on this one. Ricky scratched me the other day while I was cleaning out his cage, and tore a gash in the cushy part of my palm. Every time I move my hands? Boom. Skin splits. Little brat.

Boys shirtless PE lessons
There they are! Over there! [runs and hides]

What is a black balloon?
A really beautiful song by the Goo’s that I can’t wait to hear live again someday.

What happens when you pop your sty?
It hurts. It goes crusty. It goes away. Three easy steps!

Lite and easy weight loss
Is a food company that delivers frozen meals to your door. We’ve tried it for a week or so in the past, it’s not actually bad tasting stuff! Just expensive. Boo.

Remedy for spotty arms
Honey, if I had the cure for this, I’d be flaunting my arms around with the best of them. Sadly, my spots remain covered up for now, thank goodness for winter. If you find an answer, let me know.

Confessions
I’ve confessed to a couple of things: Feeling stale and burned out, being a self proclaimed dork, feeling awkward about tagging people in stupid memes. What have you got to confess? Any dirty little secrets?

Your words make me angry
Now now, that’s not very nice. How about we think of sunshine and rainbows instead? Much more pleasant. Happy Sunday, everyone!

So firstly, I have to say that yes — there WAS once an African Lion Safari out my way, because I concede defeat and am not a sore loser. (Although I did hear Minchinbury used in conversation last night, not Warragamba. Dork!)

Now that I have completely lost most of you, I’d just like to say that Lala and Mick are lovely. Nothing like making an arse of yourself the first time you meet people (thankyou, my Sacred Hill Reisling, thankyouverymuch.) It was a lovely evening, with lovely company and 33 lovely bats too. Yes, I was counting them. Don’t you count bats? Lovely is my word of the day today.

(Not so lovely is the part where I fell down in Jason’s driveway and ended up with a lumpy head. Poor, poor Jason.)

Also, thanks to a very special Anonymous Teacher, this here blog has had it’s 2000th comment! 2000! Howzat? Bloody fabulous, is what it is. Angela, I’m absolutely leaving your double post in because I refuse to slip under that magical number, so a big thanks to you too. Nothing wrong with a little cheating, here and there.

The end of this month is also my first bloggiversary, which is a wee bit special if you’re a dork like I am. Cannot believe it is April.

What better way to celebrate than by making fun of checking in on who visited this week. It’s been a good week blog-wise, I’ve discovered a couple more bloggers that I’ll be adding to my Stalkeriffic Blogs sidebar very soon. Can’t wait.

I Hate Ticketek
Do you? I do, too. Why do we have to PAY for bands anyway? Why isn’t it free? And why the hell is America getting a tour with two of my all-time favourite bands, and NOT bringing it to Australia. That’s what I’d like to know. You suck, Ticketek. You’ve let me down.

Southern America Contiki Tour
The trip I plan on doing next year! Actually, I’m looking at doing the Grand Northern tour AND the Grand Southern tour, so I can see as much as I can.

Dags
I am one. Even more-so when I am drinking. Embarrassing!

I’m lonely and I think I’ll never meet "the one"
Oh darling, I think you need a hug. I know that feeling. But sometimes, you can still feel lonely even when you know you’ve met "the one". Am I alone thinking that?

I’m not paranoid
Good for you! There’s nothing to be paranoid about. (Shifty eyes) There’s no-one behind your shoulder. And they’re definitely not talking about you. Nosir.

Riddles for Primary Kids
Here’s one: How many hours does it a take a primary school teacher who hasn’t drunk since her Contiki tour, to digest the previous night’s beverages and feel chipper again?

Problems swallowing, pulled muscle
That doesn’t sound very pleasant, but I have to ask: Which muscle did you pull and more importantly, how did you pull it?

I sprained my ankle
Have a cookie.

Teddy Geiger shirtless pictures
Google’s let me down here, too. Maybe you could ask the chick that went to primary school with Teddy Geiger - perhaps she has a stash hidden away somewhere that she could get out for you.

Spotty Arms
I would love to have smooth, spot-free arms. They never go away, no matter what product I use on them. I blame my dad for them. If you figure out the remedy, please let me know.

My skin goes red and splotchy in the sunlight
Perhaps you are a vampire?

I love toe sucking
Toe sucking at weddings
Red Toes are Nice
Sounds like you’ve got to be very careful about what sort of guests you should invite to your weddings these days.

Bahahaha!
Someone’s stolen my word and I’m pissed off. Back off, fools.

Bedtime stories for Primary age kids
I intend on reading my kids any book I can get my hands on. A good variety is the best trick, so they don’t get bored with reading. I’d probably stay away from the Mills and Boon romance novels though; I’m just saying.

Death on a Shotover Jet
I could NOT believe that out of all the adventure things we did whilst on Contiki, (the AJ Hackett bungy, skydiving, canyon swinging, white water rafting, river boarding - and yes, I am bragging because I am BRAVE!) the only death that has been recorded was on the Shotover Jet boats. Can you believe jumping over a bloody 209 metre canyon is safer than being a passenger in a boat? Insane!

I’m a Teacher
Me, too. Let’s be friends.

Constant Pain in Chest while Burping
Lay off the fizzy drinks for a while, alright?

My Mazda MX5 has a Mouldy Roof
Does it smell like cheese? I like cheese.

Random Highways
I still need some takers for my road trip to nowhere. And yes, there will be random highways involved.

Can you squish bugs with flat shoes?
Baby, you can squish bugs with any shoes. Did you know cockroaches actually POP when you step on them? (shudder)

Headaches at Parent Teacher Interviews
Yep. Sounds about right.

Having Sex on Contiki
This seems to be the question of the month. YES! Alright. Go and have sex on Contiki. I just hope your room-mates don’t mind.

Pale Skin
Welcome to my world (heaving a dramatic sigh right about now.) I have this one brown spot around my neck and shoulders from my horrible sunburn last year, which Jason likes to tease me about - brown, white, brown, white!

Floating Heads
Sounds like a nifty band name. The Floating Heads. I like it!

Lightning Rod of Hate
I figure I’m doing my bit for the blogging community by offering my services as a Lightning Rod of Hate. I’ll take in all the bad bits and spit them out again. Feel free to use me at any time.

Dainty Sneezes
Well, you certainly aren’t talking about my sneezes then. Mine tend to sneak up on me out of nowhere, resulting in a screech-sneeze. Scares the crap out of the kidlets.

Am I really losing my brain?
Your brain and my brain are probably living it up on a beach with cocktails somewhere.

How round should your penis be at the age of 18?
Um, perhaps I missed a class or two in health when I was younger, but round? That doesn’t sound right. Oh, wait, round. Gotcha. I’m seeking the advice of any male bloggers out there; help your fellow man and answer this question, would you?

Teeth fillings needed filing down
Oh, that is the worst feeling. Go back and get it fixed before you wear your tongue away from rubbing against it. Right now!

Donut Wedding Cakes
(mumbles something bitter under breath) Alright, I have to say it. Donut wedding cakes are cheap and nasty and really, what’s so bad with being traditional and baking a real damn cake. No-one wants to eat donuts at a wedding! They want chocolate, or fruit cake, something you can cut with a knife, for heaven’s sake. BUY A DAMN CAKE.

Video of Woman Retching
EW. Why would anyone bring that up when I’m feeling queasy from the night before. You guys are plain mean.

Would a Holiday in the sun help Glandular Fever?
A holiday in the sun would help just about anything. Take me with you!

Ass Self-Spankers
For some reason, I don’t think self-spanking would have quite the same effect as er, the other. Oh, what the hell would I know about this anyway? All these searches, you’d think I would be an expert at this kinky stuff.

Baby Emu Puke
What the hell? Who googles this anyway?

I’ve Lost My Undies
Let’s backtrack here; where did you wear them last? What were you doing, and who were you with? Did you wear them at all? I do hope you’ve got some spares at home.

Every time I post my Sunday Google-age, I realise another week has gone by; at this rate, the year will be over soon.

What is Google-age?
You’re reading it, pal! Since my visitors usually end up here through Google, it’s just a silly little wordplay. It rolls off the tongue well, what can I say?

1,2,3, Eyes to Me!
Yes, I am guilty of using this one in the classroom before. Cue the lame groans and eye rolling - but it actually works.

Where is the lazy leprechaun, it’s driving me nuts!
And to think, we’re one weekend ahead of St Patrick’s Day. I do hope you found your leprechaun in time for that. Missing leprechauns drive me nuts, too.

Auckland Zoo
Jase and I were going to visit Auckland Zoo when we were in, der, Auckland. But by then we’d gotten so sick of the city and travelling around, that we couldn’t be bothered. Maybe next time?

Sisters Pashing
Another one of those searches that had me scratching my head; I can’t recall every actually talking about sisters pashing on this blog?

Aly and Ajay Pictures


My name is Aly. My brother’s name is Ajay. Imagine how surprised I was to find out that there is actually a band with the same name? And I thought my brother and I were just famous. But because I’m in a giving mood, I’ll give you my very own Aly and Ajay pictures. With the ho hat! I promised pictures of that, once. You can thank me later.

A Place where there are Cars and Sunsets
I know where you can find this! A parking lot in the late afternoon!

Panadeine and Palpitations
I’m no Dr. Google but if you’re having palpitations after taking Panadeine, I would probably stop. And see your real doctor.

I Dream of a Big Chest
Perhaps you should try some cleavage cupcakes?

Camel Penis Direction
I could be completely gross here, but I’ll restrain myself. I’ve never actually been in close contact with a camel, nor its penis, so I have absolutely no clue which direction they go in?

Girl Spankers Phone Numbers
I can assure you that all the phone numbers I have in my mobile phone are NOT spankers. Can’t help you there.

Primary School Lockdown
Follow the procedures and don’t panic!

Forcing kids to go Barefoot
That sounds rather mean. I don’t like the word ‘force’.

What’s wrong with being grouchy?
Absolutely nothing, if you ask me. [stomps off, grumbling.]

Negatives of New Scheme Teachers Accreditation
It’s a CRAPLOAD of work, for one. Not everyone has to do it, which is hardly fair. And I finished my accreditation last year, and it still hasn’t even been sent off to be approved yet. Getting cranky..

Something Kinda Woo!
Listening to old Fall Out Boy songs makes me go Woo! [end teenybopper moment.] Yeah, I don’t know about this one either.

Beware of Curam
I’ll admit, I had to search for this one tonight because I had no idea what it is? Apparently it’s some kind of software? To which I respond, yes, beware. Computers are unpredictable little buggers. And they give you viruses. It’s true!

Eboni’s Sickness
I do hope Eboni feels better soon, even though I don’t actually know who Eboni is. Poor dear.

I’m So Sorry, Love Monkey
That’s okay, Snuggle Bear. That’s okay.

Unsolved Bites
Sounds like you need your own private detective, to solve the mystery of the unsolved bites! I promise it wasn’t me.

Uncontagious Glandular Fever
Isn’t all glandular fever contagious? Stay away from me, please. I’m feeling much better lately.

River Cruise Blogs
I’ve been on a couple of river cruises, but sadly I don’t have a whole blog writing about the experiences. Perhaps that could be my next project?

Old Cars
I used to drive one. My dad drives one. How about you?

Confessions of a Dork
I know I’m comfortable with it and all, but why does everyone have to keep on bringing it up? You’re going to give me a complex.

Who Sings "Throw Some D’s on That, Bitch"
Apparently, it’s someone called Rich Boy.

Good Excuses for not taking a test

I don’t have any good excuses handy, but I do have some darned funny
test response images that I was sent in an email the other day. What’s
that? Of course I’ll share! (You’ll need to enlarge them!)

Contiki Sex / Having Sex on Contiki
It’s not a requirement or anything. But I’m sure you could do it, if you tried hard enough.

Claudia Karvan Hairstyles
Bugger Claudia Karvan, I would like some explanations as to why my hair has not grown back AT FRIGGING ALL, in the three months since the hairdresser snipped it all off. Did she use mutated scissors or something? Shit! I might as well do a Britney.

Getting a Fringe
Yeah, don’t talk to me about that either. I’m over hair.

Sexy Joggers
Because nothing screams sexy like running shoes.

Turning off the Lights
Sometimes I find I sleep better at night if I do this.

I’ve Been Waiting for this Moment
.. For all my life. That reminds me of a Roswell episode I watched just the other night. Maria singing in the Crashdown. I am a dork!

If you’re looking for trouble, you’re in the right place
That sounds a wee bit threatening. This is a happy place!

Contiki Party
There are lots of parties on Contiki. Which is why I can’t wait to do my American tour(s)!

Rainbow Springs, NZ
A beautiful, beautiful place. I saw lots of pretty things there; like huge pools full of trout, wild birds and plants, a baby emu (which are Aussie!) and a robotic looking kiwi.

Ramblings of a Teacher
You’ve come to the right place!

Sucking my Teachers Toes
..Or maybe not.

Paying Excess if I am not the driver at fault
I feel your pain with this one, I really do. Insurance companies tend to try and suck the money out of you as best they can. Basically, you need proof to say that you were definitely not at fault, and with a little luck, you’ll get out of the excess.

Playing Board Games
On this lazy Sunday, I’d love to find someone to play board games with. Any takers?

Paullina Simons - The Summer Garden
Not her best work, but I still adore Tatjana and Anthony.

Johnny Rzeznik Sims Character
What a sexy character that would be. If only I had the Sims 2.

I want Shoes, Bitches!
Me, too! Do you know how long it has been since I actually went and BOUGHT new shoes? Months!

Peeling Potatoes
Step 1: Get a potato or seven. Step 2: Get a potato peeler. Step 3: Peel potatoes. And there you have it.

Lick Nachey
I love that I am not the only one who completely muddled up his name. Nick Lachey, Lick Nachey - the latter sounds much better, don’t you think?

I find it a wee bit scary that I’m filling up an A4 piece of scrap paper with random searches in a short week now. Oh well; while the lurkers keep lurking, the google-age will continue.

Australian slang for ‘grouchiness’
The only one I can think of off the top of my head would be cranky? Snarky? Stroppy? Mighty pissed off?

‘Didly Squat’ Aussie slang
One usually says didly squat to refer to nothing.
For example;
Q - Did your blog get any new visitors this week?
A - No, none, didly squat!

How do you cure a chest infection with mucus?
Stiffness under my armpit
Dental Blogs
Naprogesic and Migraines and the Pill
Diseases for Patients
When is a chest infection most contagious?
Teacher with a chest infection

This isn’t even including the repeated chest infection questions. Oh
well, at least noone asked me for snotty pictures this week. Funny, I
still haven’t recieved any payments from Doctor Google yet. Diseases
for patients is pretty ambiguous. Isn’t there a journal with every
disease in it, or something? As for the teacher with a chest infection
- that was absolutely me! (Just a couple of weeks late.)

Haiku Ramblings
I think you’re looking for this post. How about another?
Must go and work out
The weekend is almost gone
I am so lazy.

Reindeer Stalking
Isn’t it a little late for reindeer stalking? Surely Santa has them all locked away in their stalls resting up for next Christmas. If you do want to try your hand at stalking some possessed electronical reindeer, I’ll bet my neighbour still has his locked up in his garage. Come try your luck.

Happy Spanador Pups
Sigh. I still want my puppy so bad, but I have to wait a couple of years for it, I’m afraid. Aren’t all puppies happy? Look after your Spanador, or I shall hunt you down.

Long Girly Puppy Names
How about.. ChristinaLinaBoBina? Is that long and girly enough for you? I only have boy puppy names picked out, no girl ones. Sorry!

Downloading Charmed
Tsk Tsk. Why don’t you just go buy it instead? They are pretty boxsets. And not that expensive either. I know I have.

Teddy Geiger went to my Primary School
That’s wonderful! Did he sing you pretty songs? Lucky.

Confucius for Kids
Confucius says.. Google searcher who followed this link, go to the wrong place for help.

Topless Ladies Sign
Sarah McLachlan’s Boobs
Here we go again.. And personally, as boobalicious as Sarah’s chest is, I really love her for her voice. That’s the truth!

Women Squishing Bugs
That woman certainly isn’t me. I had Jason running around with paper towel all Friday night chasing the cockroaches that were taking over my house. Blech. AWFUL.

Triangle Pattern Skin Blisters
I can’t help you with blisters, but I did once get bitten by three mosquitos (or one hungry one?) that left bites in the shape of a triangle. It’s a secret alien message, if you ask me.

Barefoot Jason Behr Pictures

I thought I’d help out here and find you one myself, but alas! There are no barefoot Jason Behr pictures on Google Images. Oh, the shame. Can I interest you in a shirtless picture from his Roswell days instead? Or if you’re not interested I can just stare at it myself. No, really. I don’t mind.

Brandon Boyd refused to sign my Dollar Shirt.
Whoa, like a real dollar shirt? Where you fold your dollar bill up into a t-shirt? You know, I had never heard of that before until I saw Angela’s post about it. We can’t really do that here in Australia, since our $1 comes in a coin. That’s beside the point! How mean of Brandon! Were you trying to shove the t-shirt down his pants before you asked him to sign it? I would have been. Hmm. Maybe next time ask him to sign something different? Your chest, perhaps? That’ll keep the topless searches coming back.

Perfect Wedding
Mother of the Bridezilla
Want to get Married
Totally uncomfortable Bridesmaid Shoes

From the look of these searches, you’d think this blog had gone wedding mad. Speaking of Bridezillas, I must remember that every Saturday afternoon on Arena there is a mini-marathon. Fantastic. Want to get married? Wait, is that a statement - or are you proposing? Squee! And most bridesmaid shoes are uncomfortable, aren’t they? The one and only time I’ve ever been a bridesmaid, I wore flat ballet slippers. They were uncomfortable too, since I kept stepping on the hem of my dress.

Restless in my Head
I feel you, pal. I really do. I am feeling a wee bit restless myself.

Silly Faces and Super Bouncy Balls
I could be really crude and revolting here, but I’ll restrain myself. Feel free to respond to this Google-ism in the comments. Hee.

I Look Like a Beached Whale
Perhaps we should start a support group, then.

Nutbush and Macarena Dances
Ha! The two dances I can proudly do, without falling over. Here’s a random fact for the day; when I went to New Zealand, the Kiwis and Americans had no idea what the Nutbush was! (Gasp.)

When I want it, I should get it
I like this theory; so where is my puppy?

Forgive the Urgency, but Hurry up and Wait
Only one of my favourite song lyrics of all time. It’s from a song called "Look After You" by the Fray. Brilliant!

I Went Fast
Did you? That’s er, great.

Love your Shoes and Hat, Looks Great!
I’ll gladly take the shoes compliment, but the hat? What hat? I only wear hats when I’m on playground duty, and they aren’t anything special. Do you want something? Are you buttering me up? It’ll never work.. alright, what is it?

Beware of the Computer Virus
This particular search was displayed in about six different ways, each asking about the computer virus. While I feel a lot better, I still think this blog is semi-contagious, so you have been warned.

Useful Chick Stuff
I’m betting you my entire boxset collection (!) that this search was done by someone with a penis? Hmm. Useful.. Oh, I know! When we chicks ask you what you’re thinking, answer the damn question. And even if we say we don’t want a present, ignore us and buy us one anyway. That’s always useful. And we never just look fine.

Goth People who Stalk in the Night
This is officially now my favourite Google-ism of all. I don’t even know what to say to this, other than to giggle like a schoolgirl and hope they don’t come after me. Arrrgh!